


Lead Me Out of the Darkness

by MagentasNightmare



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, DON'T LIKE - DON'T READ (I'm not changing what I write for anyone:), Different kind of story for me. lol, F/M, Lost Love, Love, Merle and OFC smut, Redemption, Romance, Sacrifice, Sad, Supernatural - Freeform, ge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 22:50:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9519455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagentasNightmare/pseuds/MagentasNightmare
Summary: I know how irritating this may sound, but I honestly cannot say very much without ruining the whole thing. This is like nothing I've ever written before, it's very out of my normal genre. It involves an original female character named Dana and a Walking Dead character. Dana is depressed over a traumatic event in her life and meets a stranger who changes everything. I hope you enjoy it:) Teagan xoxo





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KrissyG927](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrissyG927/gifts).



> The song in this story is "Hold On" by Neko Case ft. The Sadies, and it's seriously a really good song and it inspired this story for me in many ways. Songs do that to me a lot, I just hear a song and a story appears so I write it down. lol

_ **Lead Me Out of the Darkness...** _

 

Dana was lost when she walked into the bar that night; she wanted to drink until she felt nothing, just numbness.

In only one month, her sister had lost her battle with MS, and the man she thought would carry her through it all walked away.

Dana was the type to hold her head up high even when the walls crumbled around her but after weeks of pain, loneliness and trying to pick up the pieces she was done.

She sat alone at the end of the bar in her 'little black dress' praying someone would take her home and fuck her till she was boneless so she could feel something good if only for an evening.

One drink after another went down like fire and the burn was like reaching nirvana. It warmed her insides for a split second, and as it eased down her esophagus, she didn't think of Jill.

The bar was ugly, she needed and ugly place for how she was feeling.

By the time she was moving onto wine, she wondered how she'd ever get home. She had driven there on a whim, and she began to scan her phone for a cab company.

"This seat taken?"

She looked up, and a man with short sandy blonde hair was looking down at her. He was wearing a dark suit; he didn't look like he belonged in such a place. Dana didn't feel like speaking to anyone, but she was friendly to a fault and said he was welcome to sit. The man was handsome, he appeared to be in his early 30s but looked wiser than his years; it's funny how true that impression actually was in the end.

"I'm leaving soon anyway," she nodded.

"Are you OK?" the stranger asked.

"No...and this isn't really helping the way I hoped it would," she sighed, taking the last sip of her white wine. "I just need to sleep."

"Alcohol doesn't help when you're sad; it's a depressant," the stranger noted.

"That's true, isn't it?" she agreed, swiping through the cab companies on her phone some more.

"So, I can't get you to stay for just one more?" he asked.

"You just said it didn't help, though," she smiled.

"Maybe we could talk...that may help."

"Are you trying to get into my panties?" she asked with a slight slur.

"No. I just wanted to talk."

"I'm sorry, that was rude of me," she shrugged. "I've had a horrible time lately."

"You could tell me about it if you wanted to, I won't even ask your name, and I won't come onto you."

"What's in this for you?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"I've been low myself. I wished many times for someone to just listen and to actually give a shit that I was sad. I care that you're sad."

"But you don't even know me."

"You're right, I don't know you...but I know sadness. It's ugly and oppressive. If you think that talking about it may help, then I want to hear about it."

She wanted to cry in that moment, to weep into the stranger's arms like a child. Just having someone care because they didn't want her to be sad was so beautiful. Maybe she was being conned. Maybe her head would end up in this guy's freezer by morning but she needed to talk, and he wanted to listen.

_**/** _

He led her to a booth at the back of the bar where it was quieter, and she immediately unburdened herself to him.

"My sister died."

"I'm sorry about that. Was she older or younger?"

"Younger. She suffered from MS for years and it finally just took its toll on her. I thought my boyfriend would help me to cope with everything but...he broke up with me while she was in hospice."

"That's despicable. It really makes you wonder how people can do things like that," he said, and she could see it in his eyes that he empathized.

The idea that he was listening to her sob story out of the goodness of his heartfelt far fetched but she needed this. Her parent's lived out of state and had long since gone home after the funeral, and she was left with pain but didn't want to trouble anyone.

"I guess if he didn't love me then it's better that he's gone," she shrugged. "I don't want anyone to be with me out of pity."

"I see what you mean, but there's a way to do things, and he made selfish decisions that hurt a good woman when she least needed it."

"How do you know I'm a good woman?" she asked.

"I can just see it. I can see a few things about you, but my instincts could always be rusty."

"Try me," she smiled, after ordering another drink.

She noticed he just ordered cranberry juice with soda and wondered why he was in a bar all alone just to stay sober.

"You strike me as independent. You're the kind of woman who wants to stand on her own two feet which is admirable. The problem is that you don't ask for help until you're just about to break, that's your Achilles heel. You don't like surrendering control to others because when you did that in the past people just let you down."

A tear rolled down her cheek, and she looked around the bar feeling like she was completely nude, vulnerable and exposed.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart."

He offered her the handkerchief from his pocket, and she dabbed her face, trying not to smudge her makeup.

"I must be pretty transparent," she sighed, handing it back to him.

"No. I just pay really close attention to people; it's either a gift or a curse."

"It's a gift; it's just weird for a stranger to see all that."

"You were right by your sister's side until the end weren't you?"

"Yes."

"You're a good woman...I was right about you."

She smiled at him, and she felt so much better it was unbelievable.

The bar was smoky, dark and miserable, so he suggested they go for a drive, and he offered to take her home afterward.

"OK."

It was outside her comfort zone to trust a stranger, but she had trusted so many that weren't strangers and been bitten in the past regardless.

The stranger led her out to his car, and she found herself wondering what he did for a living. He still didn't know her name, and she didn't know his, but somehow she loved that so she didn't ask.

Dana felt like something like this would drive her out of the rut she was in and out of her misery. Thoughts of ending it all had crept into her mind of late, so she was willing to try anything to bring herself out of the downward spiral.

She was a little loopy, but he hadn't laid a single finger on her or made any kind of advances toward her. The conversation stayed platonic and supportive, and as they left the parking lot of the bar, she wasn't afraid. He made her feel peaceful, and she couldn't explain it for the life of her.

"Do you mind if I play some music?" he asked.

"Sure."

It was his car after all. She leaned her head back on the leather upholstery and watched the stars pass across her field of view. The words of the song seemed to be speaking right to her, and she winced a little at his sense of telepathy.

 

_**The most tender place in my heart is for strangers** _

_**I know it's unkind, but my own blood is much too dangerous** _

_**Hangin' round the ceiling half the time** _

_**Hangin' round the ceiling half the time** _

 

_**Compared to some I've been around** _

_**But I really tried so hard** _

_**That echo chorus lied to me with its** _

_**"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on"** _

 

_**In the end I was the mean girl** _

_**Or somebody's in-between girl** _

_**Now it's the devil I love** _

_**And that's as funny as real love** _

 

_**I leave the party at three a.m.** _

_**Alone, thank God** _

_**With a valium from the bride** _

_**It's the devil I love** _

_**And that's as funny as real love** _

_**And that's as real as true love** _

 

_**That echo chorus lied to me with its** _

_**"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on"** _

 

 

 

The stranger took her to the beach where they sat and watched the waves roll in and out like respiration. She spent so much of her childhood at the beach with her sister, back when Jill could walk and run and play. It was bittersweet to be there, and she hated that Jill would never be with her there again.

He listened to all of her stories about her sister and everything they'd been through as siblings and never once poured his own pain on top of hers. He said nothing about himself, he just listened.

Dana felt like the pain was seeping out of her and into the sand beneath her like she could leave it behind her when she stood up and simply walk away from it.

"You're a good man," she said when she was feeling completely sober from the fresh night air and the dissipation of her emotional trauma.

She would always miss Jill, but for the first time since losing her, she knew that she would survive.

"I've been sad too, I just know how it feels, and I don't want other people to feel that. Sometimes it gets so dark that you get sick of searching for the light...it gets exhausting."

"Exactly. You've been there too," she realized. "What happened to you?"

"I'll tell you some other night maybe. I just want this to be about you...is that OK?"

"Yes. You don't have to tell me anything, I just wanted to listen to your story if you wanted to talk about it...but no pressure."

"I'll tell you some time maybe; I still have time."

"Are you going somewhere?" she asked.

"No, forget it," he smiled.

The stranger became a little lighter with conversation, and soon she was feeling better again.

As it turned out, he was very funny, and he liked a lot of the same movies she did, older movies that she hadn't seen in years.

He could do a really impressive Al Pacino impersonation, and by the time he took her home she was feeling human and hopeful that good people still existed.

When he pulled up outside her door, she paused, and she found that she wanted to touch him, kiss him, maybe bring him inside. She just wanted physical contact with him; nobody had ever made her feel so warm inside.

She leaned into him and held him tight to her.

"Thank you."

"It was my pleasure."

"I'd love to see you again," she admitted.

She felt insecure because he had made no obvious advance toward her, maybe he was just a genuinely nice man who wanted nothing more.

"Do you feel better?" he asked, and she found it to be a strange question considering she had just basically asked him out.

"I feel a lot better...I can't say that the pain won't return tomorrow, but right now I feel very hopeful."

"I live on Rae St. maybe you could come over tomorrow."

"What's your address?" she asked.

"311 Rae St. West. There's a red door and a huge weeping willow on the lawn."

"I'll stop by then, thanks a lot for everything."

"Wait."

She was just about to shut the door when he stopped her with a final request.

"Yeah?"

"Can you do something for me?"

"OK."

"Just think tonight about something you need to heal from your pain...something that you could clearly state in one sentence that would help you turn that corner into peace again."

She frowned at him, already deep in thought about his words.

"I know it sounds weird," he admitted.

She had no reason to think he wanted to hurt her, he seemed so genuine, and she felt so much peace when she was near him that she trusted her gut for once.

"I'll think about it really hard, and I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Thanks. I really want to know the answer."

"I'll tell you when I stop by. Goodnight, stranger."

"Goodnight and God bless."

"What did you say?"

Her blood ran cold, and she just stared at him.

"What? Did I say something wrong?"

The only other person she ever heard say "Goodnight and God bless" was Jill and it instantly gave her the chills, but it had to be a coincidence.

"No...I just misheard you. Goodnight."

Dana lay in bed for a long time picturing the man's face and replaying the sound of his voice before drifting off; he seemed too good to be true.

_**/** _

The next morning, Dana was up surprisingly early and was feeling so emotionally well that she decided to go through Jill's room.

She had been meaning to sort through everything in the room where Jill spent her last ten years ever since she went into hospice but she had still been in denial then.

Dana believed she was coming home right up until the night she died.

She sorted through her clothing and bagged it up to take to Good Will. The photographs were brought into her room along with all of her books. When she could no longer read, Dana would read them to her...chapter after chapter for years.

Audiobooks would fill in the spaces when Dana had to work, and she was with her nurse, but she knew that Jill loved her voice the most.

When it got to be too much, she decided to pay the stranger a visit.

After a long hot shower, she put on her denim overalls and a plain white t-shirt and called a cab back to the bar to get her car.

Rae Street was on the other side of the city and not an area she was familiar with.

She looked for the red door and the weeping willow on the front lawn as she drove slowly down the 300 block of Rae Street.

When she finally spotted it, she parked up and took a slow breath as she tried to imagine everything that could go wrong.

She left the standard 'if I don't text you in an hour send the cops to this address' text to a friend and walked up the path toward the red door.

There was no doorbell, just an old lion head knocker, so she knocked and waited.

When he came to the door he was in jeans and a Red Sox t-shirt, he looked casual and sexy.

His arms were visibly strong, and she imagined him over top of her, she was the one sexualizing him.

"Hey! You came!"

He looked happy but surprised to see her.

"I...you asked me to come, right?"

"Yeah, I just thought maybe you'd forget or decide it wasn't a good idea."

"I wanted to see you again...I think last night really helped me."

"Yeah?"

He moved back to invite her in, and she was led into a living room that looked like it was decorated in the 80s. He had an old TV with rabbit ears, and the walls were that bright teal that nobody would ever paint walls in 2016. She hadn't seen a room like it in a long time, but she was in mid thought when she sat down on the couch, so she just continued.

"I woke up this morning and cleaned out my sister's room; it's almost done. I couldn't do that until today; I didn't even want to go in there at all before."

"That's a big step! It's really tempting to leave it the same and then you don't have to face it, right?"

"It's a form of denial for sure."

"So, did you think of what I asked you?"

"Yes, but I feel like I'm on the right path now after talking to you. I think I'm already turning that corner. The only thing I think I really need now is a good hard screw," she laughed.

The man didn't say anything, and when she looked at him, he appeared to be very serious.

"Have I offended you?" she asked. "I'm sorry if I did."

"No, not at all," he answered. "I was just surprised."

"That probably sounds terrible, but I already miss it...I want to feel good and maybe trip the switch inside a little," she shrugged.

"It's been a really long time for me," he said, and she found it hard to imagine.

"That's surprising."

"I may not even know how to anymore it's been so long," he added.

"Do you mind me asking why? You're very attractive and caring; it seems like you should have someone."

"I used to have someone, but it's a long and unhappy story."

"Maybe you could tell me sometime."

"I want to tell you a lot of things; I'm a little confused when I'm with you...I feel a lot of things I haven't felt in years."

"Are you OK?"

"What if I told you that I'm not like other men?" he began.

"I'd believe you. I don't think I ever met anyone like you before."

"Do you believe in spirits?"

"I think so, but I've never seen a ghost or anything," she laughed.

"Everything about my life is complicated, and I wouldn't even be able to have a proper relationship with you...but still I'd love to make love to you. I don't even know your name, but I want to make you forget about that man who left you. If I could, I'd make you forget every man who ever hurt you."

Dana moved closer to him; she was pulled to his aura.

"Why are things so complicated for you? Why can't you just be with me?" she asked.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you...I can't make you any promises, but I really wish I could."

She touched his face, and he instantly lay his hand over hers and closed his eyes. It looked like it had been years since anyone had shown him affection.

"What happened to you?" she whispered.

"Something ugly that I can never forget...no matter what I do."

"Maybe we could forget together," she urged laying her other hand on his face and coming in close to kiss him.

He looked overwhelmed and reached for her like grasping at a life preserver.

"This feels so good," he breathed. "You feel so right for me...I wanna keep you."

Her lips met his, and she couldn't help but get caught up in his enthusiasm, it was infectious.

He surrounded her in his strong arms, and he smelled like an earthy musk, something like sandalwood.

His eyes remained closed for the most part, and he held her shoulders, finally turning his head to the side to invite her tongue into his mouth.

She could feel his nervous energy, and so she started the ball rolling in the right direction. Dana slid onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his lips slow and soft.

She didn't want to fuck this man; she wanted to make love to him...to savor him.

He had a kind heart, and she wanted to make him feel good, and loved, she wanted to try to erase some of the pain in him.

His hands lay on her lower back, and she could already feel him growing hard beneath her.

"Can I take you to my bedroom?" he asked.

Dana backed up and smiled at his boyish shyness.

"Sure."

Up the stairs was a large bedroom that he obviously slept in alone and it was also decorated in Back to the Future decor.

He stood next to the bed for a moment and reached for her hand and somehow this man, this stranger, claimed her heart.

His name didn't matter when she could already feel so much for him, she trusted him more than any man she'd known for years.

Dana took his hand, and he wrapped her up again, then lay her down on the quilt. He kissed her slowly like he was trying to attribute individual meaning to each kiss.

"I could kiss you forever," he sighed, as he slid his hand inside her overalls to touch her breast through the white t-shirt.

His hands were cool but it felt incredible to her, she wanted his hands everywhere then.

She pulled the Red Sox t-shirt up over his head, and a grin spread across her lips at the sight of his body. He was muscular, but not like he spent a bunch of time at the gym, he just looked naturally strong as if he worked hard.

Dana ran her hand down his chest and kissed him from his neck to his navel as he knelt before her.

"You're like salvation in human form," he uttered, touching her hair and looking down into her eyes like he meant every single word he'd ever said to her.

Her hands pulled his belly closer to her mouth, and she unfastened his pants before sliding them down.

The stranger unbuckled her overalls and pulled her t-shirt over her head like opening a long awaited Christmas gift.

"Just look at you, honey," he sighed. "You're so beautiful."

Dana stood long enough to strip down to only her panties, and he was wide-eyed and lusty for her as she settled back down onto the quilt before him.

His fingertips moved from her cheek, slowly down the side of her neck when he ducked back down to kiss her and pull her under him.

Things began to move faster, and she threaded her fingers through his hair as she became breathless.

He rolled his hips between her thighs and winced as if he was already close.

"I never thought I'd do this again," he panted.

She knew he wasn't going to explain why at that moment so she didn't bother asking. There were so many questions, but she didn't need anything but his body at that moment.

He took her breasts and kissed them, taking them into his mouth hungrily. Dana raised her hips to meet with his body, and he began the slow descent down to her belly with his mouth, and she knew he was about to push her over the edge.

He lay his cheek against her inner thigh for a moment and looked up into her eyes.

"I'd spend every single day with you forever if I could. Can you promise to remember that?" he asked.

"Yes, but I wish you'd tell me what you mean."

He didn't answer her, he just carried on kissing down her thigh to the heat between her legs, and she let out a low moan at the sensation.

Dana could feel his strong fingers digging into her waist as he settled himself between her legs and lapped at her wet lips.

He moaned like he'd been denied the joy of tasting pussy for a hundred years and she'd never heard anything like it.

"Having fun?" she giggled.

"This is heaven for me...I'd sell my soul to do this every day."

His tongue nudged at her clit, and he slid two of his fingers into her so slowly she was falling apart in anticipation.

"Mmmm....that's so gooood," she whined when he finally pushed all the way inside her.

She came completely undone when he began to moan, and light vibration from his mouth to her clitoris became too much to withstand.

Dana needed him inside her then. He was the only one who could bring her out of the ashes and back into the light.

She felt overwhelmed by her own heart and the explosion of emotion she felt for him...she couldn't explain it, and it scared her.

"Come here," she whispered, pulling him down to her.

"You sure?" he asked.

"I've never been more sure of anything."

He kissed her, and she could see that he felt it too, a happiness so intense that it made you want to cry.

When he entered her, she could see every single moment of the life she wanted to share with him. Nothing so strange had ever happened to her before, but she could see snapshots of a relationship that didn't even exist yet between them; a wedding, Christmas mornings, evenings in each other's arms.

"Can you feel that?" she asked, certain that he could.

"Yes," he answered, still thrusting steady and deliberate.

"You can see it can't you?"

"Yes, but I can't have any of that."

She kissed him hard and let the confusion creep back out as she reveled in the moment with him.

It felt so good and so pure, and by the time she rolled him onto his back, he was almost spent.

He looked up into her eyes and a sleepy smile lingered on his face as she rode him straight to heaven.

His hands held her breasts and then moved to her waist as he began to lose his grip and started to fall from the highest of heights.

He said no words as he came, but he groaned long and slow as he tried to keep looking into her eyes, but they closed as it washed over him.

Dana flopped onto his chest, and he immediately rolled her next to him on the bed but held her close to him.

"That was incredible," he sighed. "You don't know how special that was for me...thank you."

"I need to know what's going on with you...I feel too much for you to just accept that we can't be together."

The stranger sighed and got up out of bed, he reached for his boxers, and she began to feel a severing.

"Are you with someone else or...?" she asked, trying to understand his hesitation.

"I'm not with anyone else...I just can't explain it right now."

"I thought you said you could tell me what happened."

"That was before this," he said, looking cornered and like he wished she'd just let it go.

"I don't want to push you, but I wish I understood why you couldn't be with me...you like me right?"

He came to sit on the bed next to her and pleaded with his eyes.

"I like you more than I ever meant to...I was only trying to help you feel better. I wasn't supposed to fall like this."

"Do you regret it?"

"No. I could never regret it in a hundred years. It's just that I have complications in my life."

"What's your name?" she asked.

Dana needed to know suddenly; he needed to be a real person with a name before he walked away.

"I shouldn't say."

"My name is Dana Brennan."

"Dana," he repeated with a soft smile. "That's a pretty name."

"Please, tell me your name."

"My name is...Merle."

Dana grinned, she'd never met a 'Merle' before.

"I like it; it suits you."

"Please tell me why this can't work. I'll always think it's cause you just didn't like me if you never tell me why."

"Don't think that, Dana. That's not it."

"I can handle it, you know? Whatever it is...I can handle it. I need you to tell me the truth, though, please."

"Can you promise that you'll listen right to the end before you go screaming and running out of here?" he asked, still looking like it was a bad idea to reveal anything.

"I promise," she insisted, becoming impatient.

He left the room and came back 5 minutes later with a shoebox. Dana was sat up in bed with the blankets pulled up over her breasts waiting for answers when he handed her the box.

"It's all in there...just please don't be scared."

She frowned in confusion and took the lid off the box.

There was a picture of a little boy, right on the top and she picked it up and turned the picture over.

_Cody, age 4. 1999_

"He's so cute," she smiled.

"He was the cutest kid you ever saw," he nodded.

"Was?"

"I can't believe I'm telling you this...I'll be in so much trouble."

"Trouble?"

"Cody was my son. I was only with his mother until he turned two and then she broke it off with me and went back to the guy she was seeing before me."

"I'm sorry."

"It gets worse. When he was four years old, she was out with him on an icy evening and crashed the car on the interstate coming back from dinner with her new man's family."

"Oh my God...Merle."

He pulled out an article and handed it to her, and she skimmed over the words as he continued.

"She was killed immediately, but he fought for almost a week in the ICU before I had to make the choice to take him off of life support."

Dana could see that it was still fresh in his mind and then it struck her that the timeline was very strange. Merle was 30, and this was 16 years ago, and it didn't make sense to her.

"But this picture says 1999."

"I'm getting to that," he sighed.

"Even when you know it's the right thing to do, it never leaves your mind that it was your decision that stopped your own child from receiving oxygen...it was me that let them stop his little heart beating. I couldn't bear it," he said, and that's when he began to break.

He handed her a cutout from a newspaper, and she felt a cold hand close around her heart...it was his obituary.

"No!" she said, shaking her head and pulling the blanket up to her chin. "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

"No, honey...I'm sorry!"

"Are you sick or something? Why would you tell me this?"

She felt fear like she couldn't comprehend, she just looked at him in horror.

"I did the unthinkable, and I checked out, but I was given a chance to come back and help people. God offered me a chance to be redeemed, Dana."

She squirmed out of bed, unable to even get her mind around his words.

"You're dead? That's not possible, Merle! Why are you saying this? Why not just say you don't want me? How could you make up such a thing?"

She was becoming hysterical, and he tried to reach for her, but she was scared and backed up as she got dressed.

"Please don't be mad, Dana. I'm telling you the truth."

"I must be crazy," she whined.

"Please, just listen for a minute," he pleaded.

She paused then and looked up at his face, desperate for something to make sense again.

He took her hand, and she let him, she already felt bad for her outburst.

"Feel that," he said, pressing her fingertips to the artery in his neck and she felt nothing. She had to take a moment to even find her own pulse, so she decided to go straight to the source.

She moved a step closer and pressed her cheek to his chest and began to sob softly when she heard nothing at all.

"How?"

"It happens sometimes...sometimes he lets you come back to do some good. I don't want anyone else to do what I did so I try to stop it when I can. I could feel you starting to let go for weeks, so I followed you to the bar to try and talk to you."

"You followed me? When I was at home alone?" she asked, feeling uneasy about the idea of being watched.

"Never at your home. I just watched you at the library and at work once...I could feel your sadness, and it attracted me to you. God made it so that I was more sensitive to pain; it helps me find people to serve."

"This is insane, Merle."

"I know how it sounds, but I swear that it's true."

"So you can't stay?" she pressed.

"I wasn't here to fall in love; I was only here to help...I think I've broken the rules of my release."

"Merle, I feel like I've fallen down the rabbit hole here...this is crazy! But I know what I felt for you, what I still feel," she whimpered. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"I don't know...I'll try to fix this if I can, but it may not be possible."

She pressed her face again to his chest just to make sure the heartbeat really wasn't there, and it wasn't.

/

"Why are you in this house?" she asked when they ended up back downstairs in the living room.

She needed to know more about how this reality functioned.

"It's just a house that was in foreclosure. I don't stay anywhere for long," he explained.

"And why does it look like the 80s threw up all over the place?"

"It reminds me of my home as a kid; it was a time I was happy."

"When will we know what the future holds for us?" she asked. "Would He ever let you stay or is there no hope?"

"There's always hope. I'm going to pray about this and try to make it right."

"If you can't stay with me...just know I won't forget you."

"I won't forget you either, and I have eternity to remember you too," he sighed.

"Will you at least be able to say goodbye to me?"

"I hope so. I'm going to try and take care of this, but I want you to drive to the beach tonight at sunset. If I'm allowed to stay, then I'll meet you there and if I can't then please think of me and remember today."

"Merle-"

"Remember it for a little while and then try to forget all about me. I wasn't supposed to come here and hurt you. I was sent to make it better, but I haven't been held by anyone since the late 90s, and I was weak. I couldn't resist you, Dana. It gets harder all the time to see couples together all around me and know I can't have that."

"Isn't it cruel to send you to earth to help when you aren't allowed to live as well?" she asked.

"We aren't meant to understand all of His ways. This is what he wanted for me."

She stayed for a while longer and took the time to kiss him as many times as she could before returning home.

"I'll never be sorry, Dana, no matter what it costs me."

"I love you," she said softly. "I'll meet you at the beach tonight."

"I hope so," he whispered.

Dana looked up everything she could about him when she got home, and it was all true. She knew it was, but she needed to see it all for herself.

He had lived in another state and from what he said to her he was never sent back to that state for obvious reasons.

He wasn't allowed to be with his son until he'd done a certain amount of good on earth. Cody was in heaven with his mother, though, so he wasn't alone.

It sounded like a TV show to Dana but right in front of her on the laptop screen was verifiable evidence. Merle Dixon had passed away in 2000 in Alabama from carbon monoxide poisoning in his garage after losing his young son the previous year.

Dana couldn't eat and thought long and hard about the probability that she may never see him again and the fact that she had made love to a dead man.

She hadn't been religious all her adult life, after her sister's diagnosis she lost faith in a loving God and didn't have it in her to believe.

That late afternoon, though, she prayed.

Dana prayed for her sister, and for Merle's son. She prayed for Merle to be allowed a second chance. She spoke to God and cried until the pain was exorcised from her spirit.

 

**I trust you that you know the way for him**

**He's a good man, though**

**Please, God, let him stay and do more good**

**He has the ability to save lost people from taking their lives**

**Please, let him serve that purpose**

**I know a lifetime is a lot to ask of you**

**but he could save so many other lifetimes**

**...and I love him**

 

For the first time, she knew someone was up there and listening to her words. It wasn't up to her now, but she knew that God would be able to read her heart and know that she was sincere.

 

Time passed slow, and it was finally approaching sunset when she got into her car and drove to the spot on the beach where she had spoken to Merle only the night before.

Somehow it felt like a lifetime had passed since he approached her in her darkest of hours.

She sat and waited as the sun began to creep lower to the horizon. The waves licked at her feet, and she got up to walk off her nervous energy. She paced until the sun kissed the water and she winced, looking up at the pink and orange sky.

"Please."

No cars were coming down the road toward the beach, and when she looked down the long stretch of sand, she could just faintly make out the silhouette of a couple holding hands.

The sun sank lower and lower, and she bit her lip, determined to keep it together but knowing it wasn't going to happen.

She looked down at her phone to check the time and then up to the highest point in the sky where the first stars were being born.

When the sun was drowned by the ocean completely, she let out a pitiful sob and held her hand to her mouth trying to stifle it. It felt unfair, and she suppressed the urge to curse His name, knowing that these decisions were bigger than herself.

The happy couple walked passed her on the way to their car, and she wiped her face, trying to look like she wasn't losing her cool.

Dana walked toward the water and shook her head softly.

"If everything happens for a reason then why did I have to meet a man and fall in love when it's against your wishes?" she sighed. "I'm not supposed to ask why, though, am I?"

She needed to accept it, but she knew it would burn for a long time to come.

Dana took her keys out of her pocket, planning to go home and cry it all out.

When she turned around, Merle was walking toward her, and she sank down to the sand.

"I'm sorry I'm late," he said.

"I thought...but how?" she asked.

"He forgave me...he says that a friend prayed for me. He was convinced that I could do his work here to bring the lost and hopeless ones back to him."

"Are you-"

"Alive? Yes."

She stood up and fell into his arms and kissed him with every ounce of passion in her body.

"When my time does come, he says that I can be with Cody."

She wept into his chest and listened to the sound of his heart beating against her ear, and it was beautiful.

"I'm so happy for you," she said.

"Thank you for praying for me, Dana. You saved me."

"We saved each other, and together we'll pass it all forward," she insisted.

"You're a good woman alright," he whispered, kissing her forehead and holding her face in his hands. "I love you so much already."

She laughed at the insanity of it all and decided that God must be a romantic with a good sense of humor.

"I love you too, my angel," she grinned, wiping away the last of her tears.

_**~ To be continued?** _

_**Not sure yet. lol** _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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